When two colossi come together with such force, it breaks the molds of space-time and warps all life as we know it, and as we don't know it yet because we aren't smart enough to figure it out, but underneath the shadow of ignorance it's sooooo freaking cool you can't stand yourself......
Comes the premiere...
of...
The latest movie script that BradK will start writing, get bored of about halfway through the ideation, set it down indefinately and then forget he ever did it....
Based on characters created by people who weren't intelligent enough to combine them into a singular story....
Funded by no one because it's level of awesomeness makes people's heads explode unless they are wearing special protective UW Badger football jerseys that kinda look like hockey jerseys...
Starring Poncho Villa as himself, and an esemble cast of 3 million extras, side characters, sub-plot characters, Will Ferrel, and the voice of Orsen Welles...
Featuring 'splosions so large that 7 counties around L.A. thought they were under attack by Pyrenee mountain folk armed with nucular weaponry...
Written in the beutiful peotic rhythmic style of elegiac distich consisting of a dactylic hexameter and a pentameter....
I grant you...
"SHAKESPEARE HIGHLANDER 2: THE QUICKENING RENEGADE EDITION IN LOVE: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO: THE RETURN"
Notable quotes:
Kurgan:
"Oh happy dagger! This is thy sheath; there rust, and tonight YOU SLEEP IN HELL!!!!"
******************************************
Ramirez:
"Be not afraid of greatness: some are born great, some achive greatness, and if your head comes away from your neck, it's over!"
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Kurgan:
"The unkindest cut of all!" (dies)
Connor:
"There can be only one!"
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Rated PG for strong bloody violence throughout, language, sheep mutilation, adult situations, Christopher Lambert's acting, excessive drug use by the writer, dizzyness, loss of appetite, water retention in your man-boobs, and a general lack of taste throughout
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I know that you were planning on no funding, but I took the idea to some studio friends, and I think that they're in. However, they did have a few "suggestions" before they'll cut a check...
ReplyDelete1. It has to feature at least one of the Baldwin brothers dying a gruesome death (should help keep the comedy).
2. They'd prefer a PG-13 rating (typically, it's tough to get adults to want to go to a PG movie, and little kids will do whatever they can to get their parents to let them watch a PG-13 flick instead of PG). The studio said that they'd leave it up to you on how to get the rating changed, but I'd suggest some nice "soft core" scenes.
3. Eliza Dushku (see end of note # 2).
4. If #2 and #3 work, then the studio would like me in it as well. Seriously, it was the studio's idea. Really!
5. Finally, I know about your aversion to working with Michael J Fox again, but the studio insists on casting him one last time before he *%$# (my editors refused to allow me to print what everyone knows is coming, but you get the idea). Anywho, I think MJF would fit in perfectly for the "Electric Boogaloo" portion of the flick. Just play some music and tell Fox to stand in front of the camera. By the time you're done, you'll have a dance scene to rival anything that Travolta's ever done.
Oh, and one last request from me. During the shoot, can we make sure that the caterers have jerky???
I think Ditter's comments are in VERY poor taste. I love him.......
ReplyDeleteDitter...
ReplyDeleteYou made my day.
Thank you for making my face and stomach hurt from laughing so hard.
Now, if you all will excuse me, I'm going to go change my pants, and get on with my miserable existence people like to call life.