Speaking of...

HELLO and Welcome to the BradK Show!!!

With us here today is my id... or super-ego... or whatever it is that causes me to talk or type to myself in a narcissistic way.

Today we are going to interview one of the most engaging and entertaining minds of a generation - nay - a few generations. Winner of several meaningless and mostly made-up awards, this person has redefined shameful self-promotion, Appetizer Menu's at Applebee's, and has written a How-To guide on baking Smurf's (release date TBD).

Please welcome with all "due" respect... One of the other Voices in my head...




B:
So, BradK thanks for taking some time out of your extremely busy day to sit down with me and educate our readers a little bit about you and what makes you tick.

V(oice):
Thanks, physical manifestation of myself, it's been seconds since I last expressed myself in a way that others could understand

B:
Meaning..?

V:
Verbally, using English instead of my made-up language combining elements of Esperanto, Klingon, and the southern most dialect of Djibouti.

B:
I know Djibouti.

V:
I've seen Djibouti.

B:
Touche!

V:
So what do you want to know about?

B:
Well, what I want to know, what our readers want to know, what everyone else wants to know - what did you think of the latest Chilean elections?

V:
That's a great question me, I think the best way to answer that is to break down what really happened. The Chile elections were full of meaty debate, spicy rhetoric and just an oyster cracker's worth of intrigue and scandal. It's no wonder it came down to a runoff election which I nicknamed, of course...

B:
The Chile Cook-Off Elections?

V:
Don't interrupt me again.

B:
Sorry.

V:
I really hate it when you steal my punchlines, especially for the marginally funny jokes I pepper into my speech.

B:
But it works better when read that way.

V:
I hate you. Now I have no inspiration to continue my diatribe into food-sounding country politics like Hungary and Turkey.

B:
Don't forget Belgium.

V:
I never waffle on the important topics, Brad... you know that.

B:
Sorry... please continue.

V:
A lot of you have asked my opinion on the Gilbert Arenas incident where he pulled an unloaded gun from his locker and waved it in the face of his teammates, and whether or not the NBA has properly responded to the issue...

B:
Yeah, I don't care about that, let's move on to the next question. In your opinion, was Avatar worth the hype?

V:
That's "James Cameron's Avatar" and yes, it was worth the hype. And I mean that purely from a utilitarian perspective. They spent a crapload of money "hyping" it, and it made a crapload more than they spent. By definition - worth the hype.

B:
Very well. Who is your pick for the next Nobel Peace Prize?

V:
Clearly me. I mean, I have personally generated more ideas on how to bring peace to this world than anyone in history. Like the most recent winner, I have not actually disclosed those ideas, acted on any of them, or increased troop levels in a war, but MAN do I have some ideas. And I bet they're better than his. Here's a hint - Peanut Butter and Jelly Sammiches. I bet the most recent winner's ideas never included those.

B:
Imagine if they had!

V:
It wouldn't have been as good as MY PB&J idea.

B:
You're very sure of yourself.

V:
Ironically, you aren't, and that doesn't make any sense at all, given that we're the same person.

B:
Shut your pie hole.

V:
Well said.

B:
Well, we're coming to the end of our interview, is there anyone you'd like to give a "shout-out" to? We are quickly approaching 12 billion readers, so whoever you want to say "HI" to, go ahead.

V:
Why thank you BradK, I'd like to send a special shout-out to the following people:
Don Imus, Paris Hilton, Snoop, Nicole Richie and Howard Stern.

B:
Why them?

V:
Because they have negative Q-Scores.

B:
Well, thank you again, I hope to hear from you soon...

V:
Duh.

B:
Good night!