Note: This is not an all-inclusive exhaustive list… just the stuff on the top of my head.
Movie: Terminator Salvation
Skynet captures Kyle Reese to lure John Connor to them and end the resistance through his death.
QUESTION: Why not just kill Kyle Reese at that point and thus prevent John from being born?
Movie: Star Wars (Original Trilogy)
Galaxy far, far away, hundreds of planets, hundreds of species, etc etc etc etc….
QUESTION: Why do two relatively primitive species, Jawas and Ewoks, both speak the same language, AND C-3P0 needs to “learn” Ewok on the fly, but understands Jawa fluently?
Movie: Superman IV: The Quest for Peace
Lex uses Superman’s DNA from a strand of hair in the “Superman Museum” to create “Nucular Man” or whatever he’s called.
QUESTION: How did Lex cut Kal-El’s hair off the massive wrecking ball it was holding up with a simple pair of bolt-cutters??? Also, why did they make such a crappy Superman movie?
Movie: Ghost Rider
Nick Cage is rescued by the devil or whatever to be a “Ghost Rider” and exact vengeance on those that have wronged him.
QUESTION: Can I have those hours of my life back? Talk about ruining a comic book….
Movie: Signs
Mel Gibson is a priest who lost his faith trying to protect his family from an alien invasion.
QUESTION: Why does a race of inter-stellar being who are fatally wounded by WATER (like the Wicked Witch of the West) choose to invade a planet PRIMARILY covered in water inhabited by life forms that are PRIMARILY composed of water?
Movie: Iron Eagle
High school kid hijacks jet fighters, takes on a whole hostile middle eastern country, kicks their ass, saves his dad, and is let into the air force academy because of it
QUESTION: HUH????
Movie: Jaws the Revenge (Jaws 4)
Great white shark, rare in the New England coast, follows remaining Brody family to the Bahamas, where great whites are non-existent to go on a vendetta to eliminate the remaining Brodys.
QUESTION: Great white shark, rare in the New England coast, follows remaining Brody family to the Bahamas, where great whites are non-existent to go on a vendetta to eliminate the remaining Brodys?
Movie: Over the Top
Sylvester Stallone arm wrestles for custody of his kid.
QUESTION: Where do I begin?
Movie: Back to the Future Part II
Marty goes forward 30 years, then back to 1985, then back to 1955 to fix the mess the writers put him in.
QUESTION: How many different narcotics were the writers on when they added the part about the Cubs winning the World Series in 2015? Even I couldn’t hold the suspension of disbelief.
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One more thing about Star Wars that always amazed me. Every critter speaks their native tongue, no matter who they are talking to, and everyone understands them and responds in their own native tongue back. Thus, every conversation occurs in two languages. People even understand R2's beeps and buzzes.
ReplyDeleteWhere do you get that jawas and ewoks speak the same language?
ReplyDeleteThere are many knits to pick in the beloved trilogy, but this one I don't get
The parsec debacle rages!
Re: Back to the Future Part II.
ReplyDeleteWell, they obviously likened it to the odds of us having flying cars by 2015.
p_p, I speak Jawa fluently, and had no issues translating Ewok, as it was the same language (note: Wicket has a filthy filthy sailor mouth)!
ReplyDeleteI liken the Endorian-Moon Dialect to be similar to Salicuious Crumbian, with a hint of southern Kamino-an Drawl.
And you're right, don't get me started on the parsec debacle!!! That almost puts it into the same realm as the Midi-Chlorianism Vs. All-Powerful-Energyism debate from the Scopes Rodan Trials.
stevelight - I have a flying car. I do NOT, however, have faith in the Cubs winning the World Series in 5 years.